100 Days of Writing - 45
I watched almost the entirety of Michael Cohen's testimony today. It was kind of the perfect thing to watch to de-stress and relax. It was possibly the opposite experience for Cohen, but kind of hard to tell really. I managed to do a load of laundry and deal with the intensely cluttered kitchen table that I've been ignoring for the last 2 months.
Day 2 of my 3 day vacation has been exactly what I'd wanted. Yesterday I bought a VCR and set myself up to watch a whole bunch of old home videos except I realized I do not actually have any. At least not here, I must have left them in Montreal. I do however have a few tapes from my theatre school days that are almost 20 years old now. It was a riot to watch my first monologue performance and to see the short-haired version of myself dance with total glee in another video.
I was watching her, this energized, pixie-cut young woman roll her hips and make funny faces and I remember feeling confident while doing it. It was part of "Dances Through the Ages," where our class of about 12 was challenged to capture history and dance in a one-hour original ensemble performance. It was epic, and we did a great job. It's always so tempting to mourn my youth, in fact I've been doing it a lot lately.
I feel like that younger part of my life was completely separate from my life right now, like I'm almost a different person. The kilometric distance is likely contributing to these feelings. I lived my entire life in or around Montreal and so only have 3 year old memories here in Toronto. I came here alone, okay with my dog, and a couple of suitcases and things and have slowly been building a new life. I don't think the girl in the videos would have ever imagined I'd be doing this really, I think she thought life was going to unveil itself to her in a straightened path with no foreseeable roadblocks.
But, that's youth- hope and excitement for the future, a blanket of possibilities, all waiting anxiously for me to arrive. My challenge right now, seeing as how I'm back in school, is to turn that magic up for myself, to remind myself that there is hope and wonder to expect as my future unravels itself to me.
So yeah, I miss my 20 year old body, a lot, and that haircut too, but I have to remind myself that today I can say I have accomplished a shit tonne of cool stuff, I've performed enough to say I've satisfied the desire in me to be an actor, and I still love dancing, even if it's a seldom occurrence and usually alone in my apartment to a Beyonce song. I did what that 20 year old set out to do, and now this 30-COUGH year old has to make plans for what other kind of magic she wants to be.
Peace and love,
Katie
Day 2 of my 3 day vacation has been exactly what I'd wanted. Yesterday I bought a VCR and set myself up to watch a whole bunch of old home videos except I realized I do not actually have any. At least not here, I must have left them in Montreal. I do however have a few tapes from my theatre school days that are almost 20 years old now. It was a riot to watch my first monologue performance and to see the short-haired version of myself dance with total glee in another video.
I was watching her, this energized, pixie-cut young woman roll her hips and make funny faces and I remember feeling confident while doing it. It was part of "Dances Through the Ages," where our class of about 12 was challenged to capture history and dance in a one-hour original ensemble performance. It was epic, and we did a great job. It's always so tempting to mourn my youth, in fact I've been doing it a lot lately.
I feel like that younger part of my life was completely separate from my life right now, like I'm almost a different person. The kilometric distance is likely contributing to these feelings. I lived my entire life in or around Montreal and so only have 3 year old memories here in Toronto. I came here alone, okay with my dog, and a couple of suitcases and things and have slowly been building a new life. I don't think the girl in the videos would have ever imagined I'd be doing this really, I think she thought life was going to unveil itself to her in a straightened path with no foreseeable roadblocks.
But, that's youth- hope and excitement for the future, a blanket of possibilities, all waiting anxiously for me to arrive. My challenge right now, seeing as how I'm back in school, is to turn that magic up for myself, to remind myself that there is hope and wonder to expect as my future unravels itself to me.
So yeah, I miss my 20 year old body, a lot, and that haircut too, but I have to remind myself that today I can say I have accomplished a shit tonne of cool stuff, I've performed enough to say I've satisfied the desire in me to be an actor, and I still love dancing, even if it's a seldom occurrence and usually alone in my apartment to a Beyonce song. I did what that 20 year old set out to do, and now this 30-COUGH year old has to make plans for what other kind of magic she wants to be.
Peace and love,
Katie
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