100 Days of Writing - 33
Wuh-oh... this Spotify playlist kicked off with an LCD Soundsystem tune and you know what that means... deep thoughts to come.
I've been in school since September, contemplating who I am as a creator and it's been an eye-opening experience. This time last year, I was working with a writer to hone a couple of animated shorts scripts of mine and now I'm putting pitch documents and bibles together, and I can hardly believe it all.
But that's part of the problem.
I can't believe it all.
I went into this program thinking it would open the creative tap and I would have nothing but solid gold pouring forth. It would be easy, it would be fruitful, and I would not have to worry about how to build my career.
The tap is open, but I'm finding a lot of rusty water is spilling into my cup. But I feel as responsible for the rust as I do for the water.. is this analogy making sense?
Hot Chip's on next- perfect segway.
Part of my growth since moving to Toronto has been about examining my strengths and weaknesses as a person, from pushing myself out of my comfort zone and pursuing things I'd only dreamed about before. The more I push, the more pushback there is, and while I'm grateful to be learning, it's also taxing to the old ego.
The ideas I have are met with a little more concern, and criticism than ever. Suddenly I question my artistic instincts and while I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing, it's a weird thing to adjust to. Coming from a confident past life of performing to putting my thoughts and ideas down on paper, to potential scrutiny of others, is fuckin scary!
It's hard. I wouldn't have it any other way though, but the point I'm at now is allowing myself to be more welcoming of my story ideas, or to let the tap gain strength or something. I want to move past this protective/self-doubting mode and more into a place of recognition. Of respect.
Who woulda thought?!
Katie
I've been in school since September, contemplating who I am as a creator and it's been an eye-opening experience. This time last year, I was working with a writer to hone a couple of animated shorts scripts of mine and now I'm putting pitch documents and bibles together, and I can hardly believe it all.
But that's part of the problem.
I can't believe it all.
I went into this program thinking it would open the creative tap and I would have nothing but solid gold pouring forth. It would be easy, it would be fruitful, and I would not have to worry about how to build my career.
The tap is open, but I'm finding a lot of rusty water is spilling into my cup. But I feel as responsible for the rust as I do for the water.. is this analogy making sense?
Hot Chip's on next- perfect segway.
Part of my growth since moving to Toronto has been about examining my strengths and weaknesses as a person, from pushing myself out of my comfort zone and pursuing things I'd only dreamed about before. The more I push, the more pushback there is, and while I'm grateful to be learning, it's also taxing to the old ego.
The ideas I have are met with a little more concern, and criticism than ever. Suddenly I question my artistic instincts and while I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing, it's a weird thing to adjust to. Coming from a confident past life of performing to putting my thoughts and ideas down on paper, to potential scrutiny of others, is fuckin scary!
It's hard. I wouldn't have it any other way though, but the point I'm at now is allowing myself to be more welcoming of my story ideas, or to let the tap gain strength or something. I want to move past this protective/self-doubting mode and more into a place of recognition. Of respect.
Who woulda thought?!
Katie
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