Professional Tattling
Michael Bebbington's 5-year old face is forever ingrained in my memory. It was naptime, in kindergarten, and I was hunched over my desk when I had a funny feeling someone was looking at me. I looked up and saw Michael Bebbington staring at me. He then stuck out his tongue and made one of the worst grimaces I've ever seen. Maybe he was a bit of a troublemaker, but I was stunned by his display of disgust at me. I wanted to tell on him but I knew I was supposed to have my eyes shut too, so I didn't. I dropped it. Later on in the year I would bribe him with marriage in exchange for his chocolate chip granola bar, a bribe I've never regretted and my offer still stands if he'll have me.
Lately I've been thinking a lot about professional tattle-taling, or in other words, telling on your coworkers. It's happened in the past that I received a questionable email from someone and my first reaction was to forward it to the powers that be and complain about lack of professionalism. At the time I decided to be slightly passive-aggressive about it and I responded in my own way. That probably wasn't the right decision either, but I'm guessing we both understood where the other stands.
I've been told on before. And it sucks. I was probably in the wrong but would have preferred if that person had spoken to me directly. Instead I had to hear about it from my boss, and the anonymity kind of ate away at me. I felt anger but didn't know who to direct it to. I think the reason this happened is that whoever I offended didn't feel properly equipped to handle the situation so they went to the person in charge, who is. And, just so you know, it was a petty offense.
The same way 5 year olds tell on each other all the time, adults would too if we weren't for the most part trained or at least experienced in interpersonal relationships, not to mention a better sense of self and a little more confidence. Nothing gets me more peeved than if someone questions my intelligence, but then I also have to wonder why I'm so sensitive about it. More often than not, I can handle it on my own and rely on my Human Relations degree to help me phrase my concerns.
Today I was inspired by a colleague who addressed a room full of staff members and requested that they confront one another before going to the administration with their problems. In fact, isn't that what we encourage children to do all day? We must empower each other to better sustain our professional relationships, and that means we have to be open to criticism. That doesn't open the floor to teasing, name-calling or gossip, but I should be adult enough to talk to someone about a problem, and be receptive enough in the reverse.
I have no idea what happened to Michael Bebbington, I couldn't even find him on Facebook. I hope he's happy, and I hope he has developed healthy relationships over the years, based on real love, not on granola.
Peace and love,
Katie.
Lately I've been thinking a lot about professional tattle-taling, or in other words, telling on your coworkers. It's happened in the past that I received a questionable email from someone and my first reaction was to forward it to the powers that be and complain about lack of professionalism. At the time I decided to be slightly passive-aggressive about it and I responded in my own way. That probably wasn't the right decision either, but I'm guessing we both understood where the other stands.
I've been told on before. And it sucks. I was probably in the wrong but would have preferred if that person had spoken to me directly. Instead I had to hear about it from my boss, and the anonymity kind of ate away at me. I felt anger but didn't know who to direct it to. I think the reason this happened is that whoever I offended didn't feel properly equipped to handle the situation so they went to the person in charge, who is. And, just so you know, it was a petty offense.
The same way 5 year olds tell on each other all the time, adults would too if we weren't for the most part trained or at least experienced in interpersonal relationships, not to mention a better sense of self and a little more confidence. Nothing gets me more peeved than if someone questions my intelligence, but then I also have to wonder why I'm so sensitive about it. More often than not, I can handle it on my own and rely on my Human Relations degree to help me phrase my concerns.
Today I was inspired by a colleague who addressed a room full of staff members and requested that they confront one another before going to the administration with their problems. In fact, isn't that what we encourage children to do all day? We must empower each other to better sustain our professional relationships, and that means we have to be open to criticism. That doesn't open the floor to teasing, name-calling or gossip, but I should be adult enough to talk to someone about a problem, and be receptive enough in the reverse.
I have no idea what happened to Michael Bebbington, I couldn't even find him on Facebook. I hope he's happy, and I hope he has developed healthy relationships over the years, based on real love, not on granola.
Peace and love,
Katie.
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