The Birds and the Bees

It turns out I gave a couple family members cause for worry with my last blog post.  Perhaps they are of a certain generation but they raised a very valid point that maybe us 30 year olds don’t consider in our pursuits anymore because we’re adults… But safety should always be a concern when meeting someone on the internet.  Do you really know what kind of person this is just based on a profile pic and some words?  Please just meet and stay in a very public place.  Don’t go for walks along the pier.  :)

 

All things considered, I’d like to think I’m a lot less naïve than when I was 22 and coming into my own.  I always learn from my mistakes even though it may take a few years for me to realize it.

Nonetheless, attraction has been on my mind all week, and I’m sure it has something to do with the nice weather we’ve been having.  I swear to God I've been smelling like a billion different colognes in the air.  We’re so primitive in the Spring!

But that got me thinking, why are we attracted to certain types over others?  What influences our interests in a mate?  Why do I like musicians with plaid shirts, brown hair and a scruffy face?  WHY!

My friend T posted “Resurrection” by Moist on my Facebook page the other day.  That particular video is one I’ve watched probably a hundred times thanks to my old VCR.  I used to make videotapes of music videos.  I would glue myself to Musique Plus and wait for the good alternative shows after 11 pm or for the right song to come on and hit record.  I’d say David Usher was pretty much The One for me when I was 14, but that was before I discovered Jeff Buckley.  One day I’ll write a whole blog just on how Jeff Buckley was like my teenage guardian angel, but for now, let’s focus on the facts.

I know for a fact that I have a type, and it hit me when I watched that video the other day.  I realized (finally) why I like musicians so much.  I grew up idolizing these guys for their looks and for their talent, and more importantly, for their emotionality.  I am an emotional being, and I think I finally felt like I could relate to musicians, due to how they were portrayed in the media, as creative, emotional, expressive beings, much like myself.  Like attracts like.

Chino Moreno, Raine Maida, Wes Borland, Dave Grohl, Billie Joe Armstrong… The list continues.  My walls as a teenager were literally covered in posters and magazine clippings of the musicians I idolized and the images I could relate with.  I guess that’s pretty typical but something tells me I would be a very different person today if those posters had Backstreet Boys faces on them.  Pfff, they’re not real musicians, just pretty faces.

As a teen, you’re so obsessed with trying to find a sense of belonging and like-minded folk.  I loved my friends in high school, but I totally stood out like a sore thumb.  Bell-bottoms, short hair and music most people never heard of were pretty much my way of life.

And now, as an adult, able to realize all these teenage fantasies (hell I even served David Usher a beer last year at the theatre and managed to keep it together), I am able to reflect and understand where all of this comes from.

Yesterday morning I was in a workshop and part of the discussion was “what influences sexuality,” and this is exactly what I’ve been pondering in the last few.  The obvious culprits are upbringing, media, culture and religion, but the most ambiguous must be experiences.  I’m pretty sure that’s where I get all confused.

I was hanging out at the dog park later on in the afternoon with some potential new friends when I saw a familiar face come in with her husky.  This is a woman who I totally admire, we’ve spent many afternoons talking about health and habits and education…  She’s awesome in my books.  But then I see who is coming in with her.. and it’s this man I’ve met before who just rubs me the wrong way.  Like he missed out on college and is a bit of a downer.  It just struck me as odd that this incredibly intelligent, active, beautiful and bright woman, would find herself with a man, who has a strange smell about him.  I dunno…  There’s someone for everyone, right?  But what brought these two together?

A lot of big thinkers believe you attract who you are/where you’re at into your life.  You could probably list their qualities and see them in yourself, whether you like it or not.  Like the person you’re with is a reflection of who you are, even though they may seem totally different.

I think it’s a question worth asking yourself if you’re dating someone.  Is that a reflection you are comfortable and happy with?  Can that change?  Does it need to?  What brought you two together?  Was it a reason to get together or was it an excuse?  

And if you’re single, I guess the question is, what is the image you are projecting?  Is it a happy one?  Is it one someone can see themselves in?  Or is it foggy?  Are you comfortable with that?

Well, I’ve hit the 1000-word mark, so I suppose that’s enough for now.

To re-cap:

-Consider what has influenced your particular desires over time;

-Musicians are emotional beings and I like plaid;

-What does your reflection say about you?

Maybe we ought to look ourselves in the mirror and write down what we see.  A friend of mine recently asked if I was happy with my life’s flow, reminding me that finding a dude will only take you so far.  Real happiness comes with pursuing your true heart’s desire.  Then she asked me where I see life taking me… and I was both scared and inspired to admit...  

“Music’s path… photography and writing!”

Bif & Anti-Flag,

Katie