My Life in Bags

Yesterday I discovered a moldy green lemon in a plastic bag on my work table in the living room.  It was my lunch, from sometime last week.  Everywhere I look it seems I notice bags upon bags of my stuff, just littered about.  Bags of myself, organized in their own disorder.  It's a strange representation of what's going on in me.

The last few weeks have been pretty hectic at work.  There's a lot going on, and it's pretty obvious I'm not managing very well.  Wednesdays are usually the day of the week I feel like curling up in a little ball under my desk in the staff room and hope no one will notice me.  But there's too much to be done.  I'll save that strategy for another time.

I was telling my friend about how I was feeling lately, and it's the hardest thing for me to admit to others, but I know it's very closely related to my health habits.  The thing is, I can't pinpoint which came first; my craving for pizza, or my overloaded schedule.  At some point the line was blurred and my kitchen became a wasteland of bags. So did my hallway, and my living room apparently.  "I'll get to it later," and later really means next week.

I guess I'm trying to be aware of what I've got on my plate.  An insatiable appetite, a stressed-out brain and a stressed-out self.

The analogy becomes quite obvious.

I've been living outside of myself, ignoring the signs and symptoms, pretending I don't know why I'm eating pretzel M&Ms at 11pm on a Monday night... This is Katie in autopilot, just trying to get by.  The plastic deposits littering my apartment are just an extension of how I feel.  I have to recuperate, both myself and my spirit.

And I know, and you know, it's worth making time for.  It's worth taking care of right away, because I know where I'm headed if I don't.  It's an easy switch, I just need to gear up for it.

So that's my confession to you, lovely readers, it's a process, it's a dive, it's a victory, but first and always... health is a process.

Peace and love,

Katie

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