100 Days of Writing - 48
Got to dip my feet in the comedy scene tonight, that felt nice.
I have this weird relationship with the word comedian at this point in my life and there are conflicting feelings around it.
I was telling a friend today over grilled cheeses that I am super satisfied with what I've accomplished thus far in my life, especially when it comes to satisfying my childhood dream of being an actor. I found a group of people that I could get on-stage with and goof around and make people laugh and I got to do it often enough that it's become this really sacred part of my life. I'm very proud of it and of all the comedy I've produced or performed or been a part of somehow up to this very moment. I feel so much gratitude that I have been able to participate.
Comedy has become a much less regular part of my life now and while I do miss those times and that feeling, I'm starting to get used to the idea of taking on a more behind-the-scenes type of role.
The self-perception thing began to change when I moved to Toronto and started pursuing an arts-focused life. Taking coffee orders and getting up at 5:30 was not at all what I had in mind when I took a sabbatical. It's amazing how naive I was and how long I had lived in a glorious comedy bubble. Once I started expanding my horizons I also started to develop a stronger awareness of who I am on the other side of the unknown and it became harder to keep up the momentum I had going in the bubble.
As I now explore the realm of digital media and writing I see there are still opportunities to perform or produce laughs or whatever, but it's strange to me now that I thought I could recreate something that only lives in a very important place in Montreal. My expectations weren't met because they weren't realistic. And also because I'm a flawed individual.
So I'm trying to assess these days what is realistic. And what is meaningful to me now, and what stories I want to tell.
I've had to introduce myself to a lot of new people this year and explain to them who I am and where I'm coming from. I've used the word comedian a lot and have cringed internally because it doesn't feel truthful anymore. To me, being a comedian is very connected to the stage, to the wooden platform my feet are on, in front of a group of people eyeing me.
But maybe that's just one platform that I've performed on, and maybe I will find a way to leave a comedic footprint on others too?
Wednesday seeking Wisdom,
Katie
I have this weird relationship with the word comedian at this point in my life and there are conflicting feelings around it.
I was telling a friend today over grilled cheeses that I am super satisfied with what I've accomplished thus far in my life, especially when it comes to satisfying my childhood dream of being an actor. I found a group of people that I could get on-stage with and goof around and make people laugh and I got to do it often enough that it's become this really sacred part of my life. I'm very proud of it and of all the comedy I've produced or performed or been a part of somehow up to this very moment. I feel so much gratitude that I have been able to participate.
Comedy has become a much less regular part of my life now and while I do miss those times and that feeling, I'm starting to get used to the idea of taking on a more behind-the-scenes type of role.
The self-perception thing began to change when I moved to Toronto and started pursuing an arts-focused life. Taking coffee orders and getting up at 5:30 was not at all what I had in mind when I took a sabbatical. It's amazing how naive I was and how long I had lived in a glorious comedy bubble. Once I started expanding my horizons I also started to develop a stronger awareness of who I am on the other side of the unknown and it became harder to keep up the momentum I had going in the bubble.
As I now explore the realm of digital media and writing I see there are still opportunities to perform or produce laughs or whatever, but it's strange to me now that I thought I could recreate something that only lives in a very important place in Montreal. My expectations weren't met because they weren't realistic. And also because I'm a flawed individual.
So I'm trying to assess these days what is realistic. And what is meaningful to me now, and what stories I want to tell.
I've had to introduce myself to a lot of new people this year and explain to them who I am and where I'm coming from. I've used the word comedian a lot and have cringed internally because it doesn't feel truthful anymore. To me, being a comedian is very connected to the stage, to the wooden platform my feet are on, in front of a group of people eyeing me.
But maybe that's just one platform that I've performed on, and maybe I will find a way to leave a comedic footprint on others too?
Wednesday seeking Wisdom,
Katie
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