July
It was a good month.
I've spent a little over 30 days in Montreal, the longest stretch of visit since moving nearly 3 years ago.
It doesn't feel that long, but it is. There are new buildings near my old theatre, new restaurants up Saint-Laurent, there are new local comedians I've never met before, but the romance that city encapsulates is as strong as ever. I fell in love 3 times, and reveled in the beautiful memories I carry with me. The apartment on Saint-Urbain, the bagels, the risks I once took in the name of love on the streets of NDG and the small couch at Theatre Sainte-Catherine that I briefly napped on all brought me right back to the heart of it.
That city is special. I spent a few conversations comparing Toronto to Montreal in the last week, and still kind of can't believe I'll be returning to Ontario shortly. I keep describing Montreal as the place where people can discover themselves, their voices and their uniqueness, and Toronto as the place that puts it all to work. It doesn't have to be that way, but in retrospect moving out of my comfort zone and purposely making myself a fish out of water was the best thing I could have done for my character. It pushed me in ways I couldn't push myself.
It's allowed me to discover that there are a variety of lives you can live, that there is no one prescription to happiness as I once thought; that stepping into the unknown is a catapult to higher living and understanding, and leads to a greater appreciation of one's self, of one's ability to thrive.
Can't say that it's been easy, and I know that darkness will find me again, but I enjoy the opportunity before me in discovering more about the industry I am so fond of.
In moments of confusion and doubt, I have turned to my palm as a reminder of what may come. The two lines that intersect revealing my career path have once perplexed me but now feel completely correct. I am more than a wig and a New York accent, I am more than Hawaiian shirts or a spiritual animator - I'm all of those things and more, and I'm finally taking steps to bring it all home, bring it all together. I'm ready now.
For most of my life I wanted to be an actor, pure and simple. One thing, one title, one job, one one one. In theory that's great but in practice, that hasn't been what's brought me the most joy. It's the community building and the building and strengthening of relationships that touches my spirit on a deeper level. It's bringing out the best in others, by way of laughter, socially awkward moments or heart-felt questions and queries that I love to put forth. I love getting to know people and hearing their stories.
I feel like as long as you are doing something that feels good and right to you right now, you're doing great. When I worked in schools, the notion of picking a job and becoming it when you grow up was such a short-lived conversation. It's a great ice breaker for kids, but there's a lot more to it. The breadth of fields kids choose from is far too narrow. If you wanted to be a firefighter, think of all the ways you are helping people. Doctors help, lawyers help, actors tell stories and bring empathy to the workplace every day. Those are merely labels (and credentials), there's so much more out there that will make us feel successful.
I'm heading into the woods for a few days, an annual family tradition that offers a break from reality and gives space for the most fundamental joys life can offer. I look forward to a few days of tree-hugging and unabashed laughter. I hope that finds you too.
I think I'm happy. :)
Air conditioning,
Katie
I've spent a little over 30 days in Montreal, the longest stretch of visit since moving nearly 3 years ago.
It doesn't feel that long, but it is. There are new buildings near my old theatre, new restaurants up Saint-Laurent, there are new local comedians I've never met before, but the romance that city encapsulates is as strong as ever. I fell in love 3 times, and reveled in the beautiful memories I carry with me. The apartment on Saint-Urbain, the bagels, the risks I once took in the name of love on the streets of NDG and the small couch at Theatre Sainte-Catherine that I briefly napped on all brought me right back to the heart of it.
That city is special. I spent a few conversations comparing Toronto to Montreal in the last week, and still kind of can't believe I'll be returning to Ontario shortly. I keep describing Montreal as the place where people can discover themselves, their voices and their uniqueness, and Toronto as the place that puts it all to work. It doesn't have to be that way, but in retrospect moving out of my comfort zone and purposely making myself a fish out of water was the best thing I could have done for my character. It pushed me in ways I couldn't push myself.
It's allowed me to discover that there are a variety of lives you can live, that there is no one prescription to happiness as I once thought; that stepping into the unknown is a catapult to higher living and understanding, and leads to a greater appreciation of one's self, of one's ability to thrive.
Can't say that it's been easy, and I know that darkness will find me again, but I enjoy the opportunity before me in discovering more about the industry I am so fond of.
In moments of confusion and doubt, I have turned to my palm as a reminder of what may come. The two lines that intersect revealing my career path have once perplexed me but now feel completely correct. I am more than a wig and a New York accent, I am more than Hawaiian shirts or a spiritual animator - I'm all of those things and more, and I'm finally taking steps to bring it all home, bring it all together. I'm ready now.
For most of my life I wanted to be an actor, pure and simple. One thing, one title, one job, one one one. In theory that's great but in practice, that hasn't been what's brought me the most joy. It's the community building and the building and strengthening of relationships that touches my spirit on a deeper level. It's bringing out the best in others, by way of laughter, socially awkward moments or heart-felt questions and queries that I love to put forth. I love getting to know people and hearing their stories.
I feel like as long as you are doing something that feels good and right to you right now, you're doing great. When I worked in schools, the notion of picking a job and becoming it when you grow up was such a short-lived conversation. It's a great ice breaker for kids, but there's a lot more to it. The breadth of fields kids choose from is far too narrow. If you wanted to be a firefighter, think of all the ways you are helping people. Doctors help, lawyers help, actors tell stories and bring empathy to the workplace every day. Those are merely labels (and credentials), there's so much more out there that will make us feel successful.
I'm heading into the woods for a few days, an annual family tradition that offers a break from reality and gives space for the most fundamental joys life can offer. I look forward to a few days of tree-hugging and unabashed laughter. I hope that finds you too.
I think I'm happy. :)
Air conditioning,
Katie
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