New Found Glory
I'm tempted to do the math. I'm tempted to sit down one day and make a list of all the dates I've been on. And then mark a big red F next to each one.
The sailor, the brick-wall kisser, the big friendly giant, the man who walked 500 miles to get to our date, the man who stole my heart, the one with the sweet tattoos, the one I never met, the list goes on and on.
Normally, I'd look at all of these as giant failures, as if it was my fault. As if there was something innately wrong with me, as though I was the one responsible for not having feelings for them. Or blame them for not having feelings for me.
Expectations. EGGspectations... but I won't get into my biological clock just yet. Not at all in fact.
What it all boils down to is the spark. Ain't got no spark? It ain't gonna work out. Don't fool yourself into believing that it will show up one day and be like, "hey let's do this. I'm ready now." It hasn't happened to me anyway, and I feel qualified to make the judgment based on experience.
I recently found myself in a funny place. Realized that maybe it's time I let the man do the chasing. And then before I knew it I had two dates set up for the same week with yeah, two different gents. Both have real jobs with a paystub, both are good-looking, but, as I would find out... both are a little self-absorbed. And that's cool- if I've learned anything about love this past year is that it's possible to love someone with all their faults, but also okay to realize you're just not compatible. That's life. Some people might look past the initial red flags and find themselves in a relationship with someone who's not suitable in the long-run, but at 31 years old, I'm not willing to do that, because I know better now.
There's a difference between self-confidence and self-esteem. Self-confidence has to do with work and actions, and self-esteem has to do with how you feel about yourself. I think the two get mixed up easily but you can be a confident person with low self-worth. It's about changing the way you think that brings up your self-esteem.
So - when you find yourself sitting across from someone, and the reel of doubt is going on in your mind, don't be afraid to let it have its place. Sometimes I think my gut instinct gets fogged up by fear, but in the end, you gotta trust your intuition about people. And that goes for anyone, anywhere. Professional, personal, and on the streets of our crazy city.
When I was younger, and occasionally still today, I imagine myself and the man I'm destined to be with staring up at the same star at the same time. "He's somewhere out there..." Such a romantic idea eh? :)
I'm okay with it. I wasn't always, maybe even up until very recently, but if you don't put yourself out of your comfort zone, you'll never know. So date that shy guy, date that gal with the crooked smile, and dream the big dream of love.
Saturday morning coffee,
Katie
The sailor, the brick-wall kisser, the big friendly giant, the man who walked 500 miles to get to our date, the man who stole my heart, the one with the sweet tattoos, the one I never met, the list goes on and on.
Normally, I'd look at all of these as giant failures, as if it was my fault. As if there was something innately wrong with me, as though I was the one responsible for not having feelings for them. Or blame them for not having feelings for me.
Expectations. EGGspectations... but I won't get into my biological clock just yet. Not at all in fact.
What it all boils down to is the spark. Ain't got no spark? It ain't gonna work out. Don't fool yourself into believing that it will show up one day and be like, "hey let's do this. I'm ready now." It hasn't happened to me anyway, and I feel qualified to make the judgment based on experience.
I recently found myself in a funny place. Realized that maybe it's time I let the man do the chasing. And then before I knew it I had two dates set up for the same week with yeah, two different gents. Both have real jobs with a paystub, both are good-looking, but, as I would find out... both are a little self-absorbed. And that's cool- if I've learned anything about love this past year is that it's possible to love someone with all their faults, but also okay to realize you're just not compatible. That's life. Some people might look past the initial red flags and find themselves in a relationship with someone who's not suitable in the long-run, but at 31 years old, I'm not willing to do that, because I know better now.
There's a difference between self-confidence and self-esteem. Self-confidence has to do with work and actions, and self-esteem has to do with how you feel about yourself. I think the two get mixed up easily but you can be a confident person with low self-worth. It's about changing the way you think that brings up your self-esteem.
So - when you find yourself sitting across from someone, and the reel of doubt is going on in your mind, don't be afraid to let it have its place. Sometimes I think my gut instinct gets fogged up by fear, but in the end, you gotta trust your intuition about people. And that goes for anyone, anywhere. Professional, personal, and on the streets of our crazy city.
When I was younger, and occasionally still today, I imagine myself and the man I'm destined to be with staring up at the same star at the same time. "He's somewhere out there..." Such a romantic idea eh? :)
I'm okay with it. I wasn't always, maybe even up until very recently, but if you don't put yourself out of your comfort zone, you'll never know. So date that shy guy, date that gal with the crooked smile, and dream the big dream of love.
Saturday morning coffee,
Katie
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