Unconditional Love
A kid almost ripped my shirt today because he was hugging me so hard. I've met him twice, and he's in grade 1. Kids yell my name out in the hallway, they wave to me from a distance, their faces light up when I enter their classroom, I feel like a celebrity at work. But it's a weird feeling, and today it left me drained.
I called my mom as I often do when feeling like this, like I'm disoriented, wanting things to magically change in my favor, and she suggested I must be giving them something they're not getting enough of at home, or with their teachers, or anywhere else for that matter.
If you're a colleague, and I've worked with you, you've seen me at my best, but you've probably also seen me at my worst. Today I arrived to work short-tempered because of a bad sleep but put on my magic face when dealing with the kids. I know all teachers can relate to that, but it's the biggest struggle I have professionally. How to separate my real life from my school persona.
I keep to myself quite a bit when I'm out of the classrooms, I try to find a peaceful spot to regain my energy, I feel like I put on 8 performances a day and by the time the bell rings I just want to sleep.
So what is it all about? I'm a spiritual animator, I make kids feel good about themselves, but I know I'm not the only one in their lives who does that.
Maybe it boils down to unconditional love, a concept that's been bubbling up in my mind this past week.
I've been reading a really cheesy book about love and I've written about it in the past, but I've learned so much about it recently.
Unconditional love is really quite difficult to put into place. It's the expression of love, that you are responsible for, in absolutely every circumstance. That means I'll love you even if you don't love me the same way, it means I'll still love that kid who impulsively ripped a garland I made in a moment of sheer delight, and I'll still love you even if I'm struggling to love myself. I'll love the man who cut me off in traffic, I'll love my dog even when she pisses me off, and I'll love the couple making out in the grocery store on Valentine's Day. I'll love you wherever you are, whenever I'm there.
Unconditional love is about presence, it's about taking responsibility, it's about operating from that special place. A place of love. It's about total and absolute acceptance, and not keeping someone prisoner in your life. Surrender.
But you know what I think is the hardest truth to love? It's when you find someone who just might be able to love you the same way. Some people might think that's a soulmate, but to me soulmates are people who enter your lives to push you out of yourself, take you a little further in your personal discovery. That's the scariest experience I've ever had, even if it was short-lived. Even though they showed me the parts of myself I've been grappling with, like a mirror image, that's the scariest thing to see because you see it in yourself, and there's nothing you can do about it but improve. Upgrade, make changes.
If you've been lucky enough to find this, and you have, whoever that person is to you right now, in that mirror image you find in someone special, reflect back some unconditional love on yourself this Valentine's Day, you deserve it, we all do.
Peace and love,
Katie
I called my mom as I often do when feeling like this, like I'm disoriented, wanting things to magically change in my favor, and she suggested I must be giving them something they're not getting enough of at home, or with their teachers, or anywhere else for that matter.
If you're a colleague, and I've worked with you, you've seen me at my best, but you've probably also seen me at my worst. Today I arrived to work short-tempered because of a bad sleep but put on my magic face when dealing with the kids. I know all teachers can relate to that, but it's the biggest struggle I have professionally. How to separate my real life from my school persona.
I keep to myself quite a bit when I'm out of the classrooms, I try to find a peaceful spot to regain my energy, I feel like I put on 8 performances a day and by the time the bell rings I just want to sleep.
So what is it all about? I'm a spiritual animator, I make kids feel good about themselves, but I know I'm not the only one in their lives who does that.
Maybe it boils down to unconditional love, a concept that's been bubbling up in my mind this past week.
I've been reading a really cheesy book about love and I've written about it in the past, but I've learned so much about it recently.
Unconditional love is really quite difficult to put into place. It's the expression of love, that you are responsible for, in absolutely every circumstance. That means I'll love you even if you don't love me the same way, it means I'll still love that kid who impulsively ripped a garland I made in a moment of sheer delight, and I'll still love you even if I'm struggling to love myself. I'll love the man who cut me off in traffic, I'll love my dog even when she pisses me off, and I'll love the couple making out in the grocery store on Valentine's Day. I'll love you wherever you are, whenever I'm there.
Unconditional love is about presence, it's about taking responsibility, it's about operating from that special place. A place of love. It's about total and absolute acceptance, and not keeping someone prisoner in your life. Surrender.
But you know what I think is the hardest truth to love? It's when you find someone who just might be able to love you the same way. Some people might think that's a soulmate, but to me soulmates are people who enter your lives to push you out of yourself, take you a little further in your personal discovery. That's the scariest experience I've ever had, even if it was short-lived. Even though they showed me the parts of myself I've been grappling with, like a mirror image, that's the scariest thing to see because you see it in yourself, and there's nothing you can do about it but improve. Upgrade, make changes.
If you've been lucky enough to find this, and you have, whoever that person is to you right now, in that mirror image you find in someone special, reflect back some unconditional love on yourself this Valentine's Day, you deserve it, we all do.
Peace and love,
Katie
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