You gotta have faith
I lost my favorite earring yesterday. It was from a pair a turquoise roses I bought in Winnipeg a few years ago. Boo.
There was a moment as I put it on that I noticed the butterfly was loose but I ignored it and assumed it would be fine. As I looked for it I regretted my negligence and decided life was teaching me a lesson. I retraced my steps and slowly understood that it was gone forever, lost on the streets of Montreal.
It must be nice to be an Atheist. Liberating in fact. My brother assures me it is and tells me that life is so much more beautiful when you can appreciate the science behind it. I believe in science as much as I believe in God, if that can make sense.
Growing up I was always uncomfortable when the topic of religion came up. My father came from a Protestant family and my mother a Catholic, and so we were never baptized or christened or whatever. My best friend as a kid was Pentecostal and I remember sitting with her in Sunday school and cringing at my absolute lack of Christian knowledge. Also it was decided that I was a lazy kid because I watched too much tv. I guess I believed in honesty.
I hated sitting in churches because I felt like people were so brainwashed there, it was a weird devotion I couldn't relate to. I prayed at night and asked God to send kisses to my dead relatives, but I didn't read the Bible. To me, they were just stories.
It may be ironic that I'm a spiritual animator, but as far as I see it, I have an advantage. I've determined my own faith and allowed my beliefs to come to me naturally so who am I to say one religion is better or more accurate than any other? If it makes sense to you, as I tell the kids, then you're right. But so is the person sitting next to you.
All this to say that occasionally I do struggle with my faith because the line between every day normal life and divine intervention often becomes blurred. Losing the earring teaches me about loss, searching for something that is gone, letting go, moving on, etc. It's not just losing an earring, it's so much more. Maybe I should ask myself "what would an atheist do?" just to relieve the internal struggle.
In the shop that I bought it in, two years ago at a really cute jewelry store in Winnipeg, Arcade Fire was playing on the speakers. But it wasn't just Arcade Fire to me. It was a sign that I was on the right track. At the time, I was hearing the band a lot, everywhere I went, and it always seemed to play at important moments. So I tuned in and took it as a sign. But I could do the same with just about anything, and that's when the line between self and crazy-self gets really blurry.
In any case, life has always been so much more adventurous with the "what if" factor playing in my mind, but some days, I wish I could just let go and accept life's circumstances for what they are, not expecting any grand lesson.
Then again, I guess I wouldn't be writing about it all. :)
Peace and love,
Katie
There was a moment as I put it on that I noticed the butterfly was loose but I ignored it and assumed it would be fine. As I looked for it I regretted my negligence and decided life was teaching me a lesson. I retraced my steps and slowly understood that it was gone forever, lost on the streets of Montreal.
It must be nice to be an Atheist. Liberating in fact. My brother assures me it is and tells me that life is so much more beautiful when you can appreciate the science behind it. I believe in science as much as I believe in God, if that can make sense.
Growing up I was always uncomfortable when the topic of religion came up. My father came from a Protestant family and my mother a Catholic, and so we were never baptized or christened or whatever. My best friend as a kid was Pentecostal and I remember sitting with her in Sunday school and cringing at my absolute lack of Christian knowledge. Also it was decided that I was a lazy kid because I watched too much tv. I guess I believed in honesty.
I hated sitting in churches because I felt like people were so brainwashed there, it was a weird devotion I couldn't relate to. I prayed at night and asked God to send kisses to my dead relatives, but I didn't read the Bible. To me, they were just stories.
It may be ironic that I'm a spiritual animator, but as far as I see it, I have an advantage. I've determined my own faith and allowed my beliefs to come to me naturally so who am I to say one religion is better or more accurate than any other? If it makes sense to you, as I tell the kids, then you're right. But so is the person sitting next to you.
All this to say that occasionally I do struggle with my faith because the line between every day normal life and divine intervention often becomes blurred. Losing the earring teaches me about loss, searching for something that is gone, letting go, moving on, etc. It's not just losing an earring, it's so much more. Maybe I should ask myself "what would an atheist do?" just to relieve the internal struggle.
In the shop that I bought it in, two years ago at a really cute jewelry store in Winnipeg, Arcade Fire was playing on the speakers. But it wasn't just Arcade Fire to me. It was a sign that I was on the right track. At the time, I was hearing the band a lot, everywhere I went, and it always seemed to play at important moments. So I tuned in and took it as a sign. But I could do the same with just about anything, and that's when the line between self and crazy-self gets really blurry.
In any case, life has always been so much more adventurous with the "what if" factor playing in my mind, but some days, I wish I could just let go and accept life's circumstances for what they are, not expecting any grand lesson.
Then again, I guess I wouldn't be writing about it all. :)
Peace and love,
Katie
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