The Gag Reflex
Okay, so if you don't feel the spark, you don't feel the spark right? If there's no spark, it ain't gonna happen right?
I went out with a really nice guy this weekend, had an enjoyable time, our conversation flowed... but I just couldn't get past the feeling that I wasn't feeling it. Does the spark show up after a couple of dates? No. I mean what would motivate you to go out with someone again if you didn't feel the least bit intrigued?
This is why I'm terrible at dating. I really shouldn't bother because unless I feel some semblance of butterflies, even if it's an old dying one batting its final bats of wings... I'll still be curious. But I think that's alright. The spark is what makes you want to get together, to push toward something more some day.
I still strongly believe that dating shouldn't be a contrived meet-up, even though it is. It shouldn't feel that way anyhow. I want to get the nervous stomach cramps because then I know someone I'm interested in is waiting for me.
You can get to know a friend in a familiar place and those feelings might develop over time, maybe you didn't feel it at first, but at least you're in a setting where those feelings can turn up. When you're dating someone you basically met off the street, it's a helluva lot harder to make it happen.
Even online, you can quickly tell if you have intellectual chemistry with someone you're chatting with, and I can only hope that'll translate into real life. Technically it did for me once, but hasn't since, and that was 12 years ago.
I'm looking for the experience of unconditional love and while I agree that might show up in a certain package I wasn't expecting, I'm not willing to fake it to get there. But maybe that's my problem.
I'll put it plainly. If the thought of you and this person together makes you gag, that feeling isn't going to go away in a traditional courtship. But prove me wrong, I'm open minded.
Poolside,
Katie
I went out with a really nice guy this weekend, had an enjoyable time, our conversation flowed... but I just couldn't get past the feeling that I wasn't feeling it. Does the spark show up after a couple of dates? No. I mean what would motivate you to go out with someone again if you didn't feel the least bit intrigued?
This is why I'm terrible at dating. I really shouldn't bother because unless I feel some semblance of butterflies, even if it's an old dying one batting its final bats of wings... I'll still be curious. But I think that's alright. The spark is what makes you want to get together, to push toward something more some day.
I still strongly believe that dating shouldn't be a contrived meet-up, even though it is. It shouldn't feel that way anyhow. I want to get the nervous stomach cramps because then I know someone I'm interested in is waiting for me.
You can get to know a friend in a familiar place and those feelings might develop over time, maybe you didn't feel it at first, but at least you're in a setting where those feelings can turn up. When you're dating someone you basically met off the street, it's a helluva lot harder to make it happen.
Even online, you can quickly tell if you have intellectual chemistry with someone you're chatting with, and I can only hope that'll translate into real life. Technically it did for me once, but hasn't since, and that was 12 years ago.
I'm looking for the experience of unconditional love and while I agree that might show up in a certain package I wasn't expecting, I'm not willing to fake it to get there. But maybe that's my problem.
I'll put it plainly. If the thought of you and this person together makes you gag, that feeling isn't going to go away in a traditional courtship. But prove me wrong, I'm open minded.
Poolside,
Katie
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