"Bummed Out"
I fell down a flight of stairs within 3 minutes of being awake today. I stepped on my dog's tail and down I went. "FUUUUUUuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUuuuuuUUUUUUCK. I hope this doesn't determine the rest of my day."
Law of attraction, law of attraction, keep an open mind, turn it around, put a smile on your face. Eat your 1/4 rancid pb on toast. Have a grainy coffee. Shower it off. Throw on a light but fresh face. Do your hair, but not enough for people to notice (like that girl in writing class who keeps pointing out your use of a curling iron. So demeaning somehow.)
It's a gorgeous day, walk your dog in flats, sans socks. Roll up your skinny jeans as if it doesn't accentuate your thick mid-body. Wear sunglasses over your glasses and convince yourself you don't give a shit if people notice. Compose a tweet. Doubt your use of grammar and delete the tweet. Shove that phone back in your purse. Print out sketches, endure horrible customer service. Walk down Bloor, experience some light cat-calling. Mail the package to your brother, admire the dedication the Canada Post worker has to his work. Smile, and it'll be okay.
Walk down the street. Remember Working Women exists and decide, "what the heck, I could sure use some help to become one of those." Get overwhelmed by number of signs and arrows and doors and get redirected 3 times. Sit outside of Popeye's and breakdown because IT'S ALL TOO MUCH!
Dab your tears off gently so people don't notice. Put glasses in purse to use your secret anxiety-busting myopia and feel happy your sunglasses are huge and cover half your cheeks too. Think of Donald Trump saying huge. Uge. Bastard. Walk to the park. Find a bench away from other humans and let errrr rip.
Call mom. Create snot globs in your kleenex. Have a bit of a giggle about your day and think about all you've accomplished in the 4 hours you've been up. Be granted an afternoon off by your mom and still go to the mall to drop resumes off, once you've confirmed mascara and liner are still in-place.
Take a Tim Hortons break. Wonder if Subway, New York Fries and the no name restaurant went out of business or just didn't renew their lease in the Dufferin Mall foodcourt. Walk towards potential employers faking confidence. Experience an ah-ha moment when you realize all your work experience points to one place and that is Toys R Us and chat with a cool manager that you'd love to work for and find out they're fully stocked with employed grown-ups.
Try on some fine-knit tanks at Winners and pretend the jeans you're wearing don't give you a postpartum tummy. "Too much beer in my twenties." Pat your beer-baby and take the long way home, getting lost in 77 cent books at Salvation Army. Buy 4 that instantly make you feel better simply by having them in your possession. Convince yourself that you will read these ones. It's different this time.
Head home. Notice a strangely attractive mannequin in a store front and ask yourself serious questions about what is happening inside your brain. "Mannequins don't have a questionable past, they're the perfect boyfriend." Check your email at the lights. Find another email from your terrible ex-employer who still owes you money and is still delaying paying you. Reply using the word "rigamarole" only because your mom used it today on the phone. Do a quick google to make sure it applies and you're off to the presses. Enjoy your pride and newly learned vocabulary word of the day.
Get home. Text friend. Tell her you're feeling "bummed out" and decide that's the perfect title for this blog because YOU FELL DOWN THE STAIRS TODAY AND YOUR BUTT IS NOW BRUISED MUCH LIKE YOUR EGO.
Put on some Bahamas, eat some food and chill out. Remember today is only one day, and tomorrow is another. Smile. Happy 5th anniversary, blog.
Katie xox
Law of attraction, law of attraction, keep an open mind, turn it around, put a smile on your face. Eat your 1/4 rancid pb on toast. Have a grainy coffee. Shower it off. Throw on a light but fresh face. Do your hair, but not enough for people to notice (like that girl in writing class who keeps pointing out your use of a curling iron. So demeaning somehow.)
It's a gorgeous day, walk your dog in flats, sans socks. Roll up your skinny jeans as if it doesn't accentuate your thick mid-body. Wear sunglasses over your glasses and convince yourself you don't give a shit if people notice. Compose a tweet. Doubt your use of grammar and delete the tweet. Shove that phone back in your purse. Print out sketches, endure horrible customer service. Walk down Bloor, experience some light cat-calling. Mail the package to your brother, admire the dedication the Canada Post worker has to his work. Smile, and it'll be okay.
Walk down the street. Remember Working Women exists and decide, "what the heck, I could sure use some help to become one of those." Get overwhelmed by number of signs and arrows and doors and get redirected 3 times. Sit outside of Popeye's and breakdown because IT'S ALL TOO MUCH!
Dab your tears off gently so people don't notice. Put glasses in purse to use your secret anxiety-busting myopia and feel happy your sunglasses are huge and cover half your cheeks too. Think of Donald Trump saying huge. Uge. Bastard. Walk to the park. Find a bench away from other humans and let errrr rip.
Call mom. Create snot globs in your kleenex. Have a bit of a giggle about your day and think about all you've accomplished in the 4 hours you've been up. Be granted an afternoon off by your mom and still go to the mall to drop resumes off, once you've confirmed mascara and liner are still in-place.
Take a Tim Hortons break. Wonder if Subway, New York Fries and the no name restaurant went out of business or just didn't renew their lease in the Dufferin Mall foodcourt. Walk towards potential employers faking confidence. Experience an ah-ha moment when you realize all your work experience points to one place and that is Toys R Us and chat with a cool manager that you'd love to work for and find out they're fully stocked with employed grown-ups.
Try on some fine-knit tanks at Winners and pretend the jeans you're wearing don't give you a postpartum tummy. "Too much beer in my twenties." Pat your beer-baby and take the long way home, getting lost in 77 cent books at Salvation Army. Buy 4 that instantly make you feel better simply by having them in your possession. Convince yourself that you will read these ones. It's different this time.
Head home. Notice a strangely attractive mannequin in a store front and ask yourself serious questions about what is happening inside your brain. "Mannequins don't have a questionable past, they're the perfect boyfriend." Check your email at the lights. Find another email from your terrible ex-employer who still owes you money and is still delaying paying you. Reply using the word "rigamarole" only because your mom used it today on the phone. Do a quick google to make sure it applies and you're off to the presses. Enjoy your pride and newly learned vocabulary word of the day.
Get home. Text friend. Tell her you're feeling "bummed out" and decide that's the perfect title for this blog because YOU FELL DOWN THE STAIRS TODAY AND YOUR BUTT IS NOW BRUISED MUCH LIKE YOUR EGO.
Put on some Bahamas, eat some food and chill out. Remember today is only one day, and tomorrow is another. Smile. Happy 5th anniversary, blog.
Katie xox
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