100 Days of Writing - 54

It's weird to age.  It's weird to look back at the last 20 years of my life and think about all the ways in which I've transformed, shifted, changed, etc.  Lots of highs, lots of lows, all adding up to me now at this age.

It's also weird to think about all the things that have happened that helped to guide me, even though I had no control over them.  Circumstances, job experience, people I've met, all these pings have nudged me a little or a lot, and have influenced the things I do have control over.  I suppose some people call this fate.

It's weird to think about how my opinions have changed too.  Spending more time investigating and learning to feel equipped to make intelligent sense of things.  But also my life experiences have allowed for a shift to take place in my thinking.

I guess some people would call that maturity.

Sometimes I miss the days of being inspired by highlighters and starfruit, but I think those moments contributed to the moments I now get to enjoy, and being inspired by different kinds of things.

All this vagueness to say that I'm growing up, but I still feel like a young lady so that's nice.  This relationship with myself spans a few decades at this point so the amount of time I've spent with me is increasing.. but I'm also getting better at understanding her, and what she needs to cope with challenges and whatnot.  Is that wisdom?

I wonder too, if my dreams are maturing as well.  The dreams I get at night. I don't think they are.  At some point this week I woke up feeling like my subconscious was making fun of me, it was quite hilarious.  How your dreams feed your habits sometimes, it's remarkable!


Still Corners,

Katie

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