100 Days of Writing - 01
Hello.
I cannot be sure I will be successful in this commitment, but I am sure that if I am, 100 Days of Writing will do me some real good as a creator. So here goes nothing.
I never felt very comfortable calling myself a writer. I thought to be a writer, I have to have works published, eyes on my lines, an income of some kind that pointed to a success, but tonight after searching for a little tape, I spilled my box of journals and notebooks out and nearly 100 books came out. "Goddamn," I thought to myself. "Why am I always doubting myself?"
It's a new year and a new me and I'm sitting at my new writing nook hoping that 2019 brings more vastness than I've previously known, that I accomplish big dreams on a small scale and that I continue taking steps to the big "What If" of my heart.
I didn't think I'd be in school, that's a sure thing. It was an idea I'd been toying with for a few years, something that other people did but not me. The unknown is big and scary and I never thought I would figure out how to make it work - but, as my friend Danielle pointed out to me last night as we sipped gin and tonics and ate new year's eve cheese, I did. I did figure out how to make it work and I'm doing the thing that I've been wanting to do, secretly maybe.
It's not as wonderful as I imagined it would be, it's damn hard and I don't like being a student all that much, but the things that I am learning and the people I am meeting are damned good. It's exciting to think about what may come next, and I look forward to receiving a sweet sweet paycheque again some day.
I am who I am, I'm a creative who longs for structure and income and good will and positive influence on the youths of today, and I'll keep moving forward until I feel like I've found something that needs me for a while. I'm looking, I'm open, and I'm keen as fuck.
When I was cleaning earlier today I went through old boxes and came across a lot of signs that I'm where I'm supposed to be in life, however incomplete it may feel right now. Finding notes and drawings from old students and a grad pic with "you're going to change lives, I'm living proof" signed on the back... felt like I was unearthing diamonds among the rough paperwork that is my past.
It's crazy how people can have confidence in you, and what a lasting impact that has. Those voices that remind us of our good and our potential, the hardest parts of realizing self-love. When people see something in you that you kinda see, but not always so clearly.. it's really lovely to remember what it is when you're feeling a little (or very) uncertain.
I won't pretend like there will be highly advanced writing on this blog for the next little while, or that I'll for sure get past day 10, but I want to write more stories and more essays and poems and just see what I come up with.
And, as usual, I will sign off a piece with my writing soundtrack, which may or may not always be LCD Soundsystem.
Cheers mates, happy new year.
LCD Soundsystem,
Katie
I cannot be sure I will be successful in this commitment, but I am sure that if I am, 100 Days of Writing will do me some real good as a creator. So here goes nothing.
I never felt very comfortable calling myself a writer. I thought to be a writer, I have to have works published, eyes on my lines, an income of some kind that pointed to a success, but tonight after searching for a little tape, I spilled my box of journals and notebooks out and nearly 100 books came out. "Goddamn," I thought to myself. "Why am I always doubting myself?"It's a new year and a new me and I'm sitting at my new writing nook hoping that 2019 brings more vastness than I've previously known, that I accomplish big dreams on a small scale and that I continue taking steps to the big "What If" of my heart.
I didn't think I'd be in school, that's a sure thing. It was an idea I'd been toying with for a few years, something that other people did but not me. The unknown is big and scary and I never thought I would figure out how to make it work - but, as my friend Danielle pointed out to me last night as we sipped gin and tonics and ate new year's eve cheese, I did. I did figure out how to make it work and I'm doing the thing that I've been wanting to do, secretly maybe.
It's not as wonderful as I imagined it would be, it's damn hard and I don't like being a student all that much, but the things that I am learning and the people I am meeting are damned good. It's exciting to think about what may come next, and I look forward to receiving a sweet sweet paycheque again some day.
I am who I am, I'm a creative who longs for structure and income and good will and positive influence on the youths of today, and I'll keep moving forward until I feel like I've found something that needs me for a while. I'm looking, I'm open, and I'm keen as fuck.
When I was cleaning earlier today I went through old boxes and came across a lot of signs that I'm where I'm supposed to be in life, however incomplete it may feel right now. Finding notes and drawings from old students and a grad pic with "you're going to change lives, I'm living proof" signed on the back... felt like I was unearthing diamonds among the rough paperwork that is my past.
It's crazy how people can have confidence in you, and what a lasting impact that has. Those voices that remind us of our good and our potential, the hardest parts of realizing self-love. When people see something in you that you kinda see, but not always so clearly.. it's really lovely to remember what it is when you're feeling a little (or very) uncertain.
I won't pretend like there will be highly advanced writing on this blog for the next little while, or that I'll for sure get past day 10, but I want to write more stories and more essays and poems and just see what I come up with.
And, as usual, I will sign off a piece with my writing soundtrack, which may or may not always be LCD Soundsystem.
Cheers mates, happy new year.
LCD Soundsystem,
Katie
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